Radical Self Acceptance

It feels like out of nowhere, I’ve become a serious adult.

We own our home, we have two cars – one of them seats 8 people, wtf – we have two children and a dog. We eat home cooked meals, host bbq’s and birthday parties. Hell, we have a storage box filled with holiday decorations for every major holiday.

It’s crazy.

We are grown. ass. people.

I turned 31 this past April. I still feel like 20 year old me – maybe not as clueless and careless – but that same goofy person is in there. What’s different now, though, is that I have grey hairs coming in. I have wrinkles. My boobs sag. My feet are rough. I feel too old for some of my go to fashion choices and struggle to find myself in what may be more appropriate.

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It’s always a little awkward to be sung Happy Birthday.

I feel in transition.

Should I hold onto my youth? Or should I gracefully walk toward the inevitable?

Everybody is going to be crazy wrinkly one day. Everybody. No surgery’s or interventions can hide it all.

In terms of my own wrinkles, there are a few places on my face that really bring me sadness. One of those places is my smile line. How backward is that? This little mark on my face was formed by years and years of smiling and when I see it, it totally bums me out!

I’ve gone back and forth on the idea of injectables for a couple of years now. I have many friends who get botox and juviderm and they look fantastic, but for some reason, I have never gone ahead and made an appointment.

As much as I hate aging. I deeply want to change my own inner dialogue about aging. I don’t want to look at other people, and yearn for their youth. I had my youth, and I wore it well! I want to do the same for my maturity. I want to be a badass older woman with grey hair and wrinkles and saggy old tits and feel good about it all.

ENTER: Radical Self Accepance!

When I was a teenager, I struggled emotionally and was put into a group therapy called DBT. It helped me a lot and there are still many skills from the program that I strive to perfect in my life. One of these skills is called “radical acceptence”. To utilize this skill, rather than getting upset or angry about life’s inconveniences or disapointments, you acknowledge that they’re happening and accept the feelings they give you, good or bad, without judgement or reaction.

“GAHHHH! I am already late to work and now there is traffic?! WHY. ME!!” could easily be, “Wow. There is traffic and I am already late. I should put on a podcast. I hope they’ll understand at work.”

So, what does this have to do with anything? We were talking about aging…not anger.

Well, hear me out.

What if, when we look at ourself in the mirror, instead of feeling angry or sad or disappointed in our aging appearance, we instead accept it for what it is – a gift. Not everyone lives long enough to watch themselves age. We live in a society that practically demonizes aging and praises youth – other cultures revere their elders, not hide them.

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Worlds oldest woman, Emma Morano, who died at 117 years and 37 days.

I want to wear my age proudly! I have come a long way and I have nothing to hide. Instead of trying to prevent aging, my solution is to encourage aging gracefully through a few simple steps.

  1. Keep a good skin care routine, day and night with quality products, including SPF.
  2. Eat foods that nourish my body, to ensure that I receive all of the vitamins, minerals and antioxidants that my body needs to thrive.
  3. Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.
  4. Get a good nights sleep. Our skin cells repair themselves while we are at rest – if you aren’t resting, your skin cells are going to look tired too.
  5. Embrace life to the fullest – a happy person, is a beautiful person – no matter the age!
  6. If all else fails, cut some bangs.

I will touch on all of these coping skills individually in future posts, as this leap into radical self acceptance can’t be accomplished simply by saying I’m doing it. I know I will still struggle. My hope is to share these struggles with you and that maybe some other people will join me in discovering and owning their aging beauty.

I love this quote from Coco Chanel; “Nothing makes a woman look so old as desperately trying hard to look young.”

True that, Coco.

Wrinkles, grays and saggy tits, I am still a fucking sexy bitch!